


Not the Protocol

by Ashtree11



Category: Control (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, References to Jungian concepts, Smut, Victorian Mirror, and fall victim to my mindless self indulgence, but maaaaybe not the one she needs, esseJ being the wingman Jesse deserves, im sorry you had to inherit my thirst emily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 09:09:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30086790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashtree11/pseuds/Ashtree11
Summary: While Jesse is out checking up on the Victorian Mirror, Emily decides to pick up where the research team left off and figure out what exactly makes the Mirror tick. In the midst of her hypothesizing, however, she gets an unexpected visit from... Jesse?
Relationships: Jesse Faden/Emily Pope
Comments: 11
Kudos: 36





	Not the Protocol

**Author's Note:**

> This was *supposed* to be plot oriented that incorporated my thoughts about the Mirror being a manifestation of the Jungian Shadow and flesh out what esseJ's deal is while also getting our favorite work wives to finally confess to one another. But due to unforeseen, but unsurprising enabling from my discord friends, it is now... *this*. It's been quite a week for me to say the least hahaha  
> anyway im just gonna punt this out and go hide for a while.

Not seeing Jesse in the Executive Sector for hours on end was by no means an odd occurrence, and with the lockdown nearing its end there was plenty to distract the remaining employees from noticing her extended absences. The Hiss weren’t going to eradicate themselves, after all.

But it was different for Emily. 

No matter how busy Jesse was, she had always made time to stop by the makeshift lab that used to be the Board Room. Whether it be to ask questions or to kill time in between the Bureau Alerts the Oldest House sends her, Jesse made the room feel warmer and offered a moment of peace amidst the chaos outside those doors, as if she brings the eye of the storm in with her. They weren’t out of danger just yet, but when Jesse is there, at least nothing bad will happen.

And so whenever the Director is gone for long periods of time, like now, Emily feels her absence perhaps much more potently than others.

The last she heard from Jesse was that she was going to check on the Victorian Mirror that was being kept in the Synchronicity Lab. It’s been a while since her initial encounter with the entity and the subsequent cleansing of the Hiss within it, so she wanted to make sure that it wasn’t relapsing, or something along those lines.

 _I hope she’s alright_ , Emily frets while she absently fiddles with the cap of her dry erase marker. Jesse is more than capable of taking care of herself, she _knows_ this. But she can’t help but worry; nothing ever goes as expected here in the Oldest House. Right when you think you’ve solved one enigma, the enigma fights back and shifts around in your hands into something completely unrecognizable. 

From what she’s gathered so far, past expeditions into the Mirror were uneventful. It wasn’t until the recent translation of Agent Hardy’s backwards testimony and Jesse’s own fight with her doppelganger that the Mirror was placed higher on the list of concerns. And Emily wouldn’t be Emily if she didn’t have a list of hypotheses to go along with it.

Scrawled across the whiteboard are phrases and passages of Jungian concepts, paraphrased to the best of her memory, with heavy emphasis on the concept of ‘the Shadow.’ Archetypically speaking, mirrors are the go-to symbol of inner selves being reflected and brought to light. 

Agent Hardy was never pulled aside for a follow up interview, nor was it documented whether he ever recovered from his speech affliction, and so a crucial piece of information regarding what he saw in the Mirror was glaringly missing.

Jesse’s account is the only tangible limb she had to go on and it already wasn’t much. What does it mean for her to find a dark reflection of herself and have to defeat it in combat? How much of that event was the result of the Mirror’s functionality as the Jungian Shadow (if such a concept was even applicable), and how much of it was the result of the Hiss infecting it?

There’s still things they don’t know, but if there’s one thing Jesse does effectively, it’s that she can nosedive into danger and still manage to get out of it alive and with new information. Though, Dr. Underhill would argue against the Director’s more, well, _direct_ approaches to problem solving and fieldwork.

Emily just hopes that that streak doesn’t take a turn for the worse anytime soon.

The doors open a moment later and her ears perk up at attention.

“Did you find the reports, Dr. Saba?” She turns away from the whiteboard, expecting to see her colleague. But it isn’t Dr. Saba entering the room. Rather it was—“Oh! Jesse, you’re back,” Emily smiles.

Jesse shoves her hands into her jacket pockets and smirks. The easy confidence and lackadaisy—a sort of air of competence that rivaled Trench’s while still being uniquely Jesse—has been a magnetic quality and Emily couldn’t get enough of it. 

But... there was something else to that smirk, something that snags the back of her mind and fixes her attention to it.

“What, did you think I wouldn’t be?” Jesse quips, interrupting her train of thought.

Shaking her head, she says, “Of course not. I know that I’d be doing you a disservice if I had. How was the Mirror? Did it give you a hard time?”

“Eh. Nothing I couldn’t handle.” Jesse jerks her chin at the whiteboard. “Whatcha working on there?”

“Parsing out theories regarding the Mirror. There’s something more to it than simply reflecting a reality it wants to see, I think. Agent Hardy’s interview occurred _before_ the Hiss invasion and yet he still sounded alarmed, then _you_ go in and find a dark clone of yourself. I wish Hardy had been more specific as to what he found so we could compare your experiences.”

Jesse strides closer and stands beside Emily, their shoulders almost brushing as they both regard the whiteboard. “You think it might be malicious?”

“Considering that you’re here and unharmed I think it’s a little less of a possibility. But I really should be asking _you_ that question, Jesse.”

At that, she only shrugs. “Maybe.” Then she turns to meet her sideways glance with a sharp grin. Once more, Emily’s attention fixates on it; a smile that looks like Jesse’s, but... not, somehow. “I guess it depends,” Jesse continues cryptically.

A sense of unease stirs in the pit of her stomach, making her intuition tentatively raise warning flags in her mind’s eye. Emily tears herself away from the whiteboard and instead goes to busy herself with straightening the files on the table. She wills her hands not to tremble. “It depends?” she parrots.

Another shrug, then Jesse lazily taps a knuckle against the board. “This isn’t too far off the mark.”

“You think so?”

“Mhmm.” Jesse follows after her, leaning on arm against the table and speaking in a low tone. “Then again, I expect nothing less from my Head of Research.”

Heat rises to Emily’s ears when she feels warm fingertips brush over the hairs at her temple. She twists her head away from the sudden touch reflexively. “Jesse—?”

Her question is cut off when Jesse looms closer, making Emily flinch backward. A short gasp escapes from her as she feels her lower back hit the edge of the table, and her arm that goes to brace against it sends papers and folders scattering every which way. Before she knows it, the heat of Jesse’s body is pressed flush against her. On instinct, Emily’s arm shoots upward and presses against the woman’s collarbone, creating a barrier between the two of them, albeit a weak one.

This isn’t her Jesse, what happened to Jesse? Did the Hiss corrupt the Mirror again? Was this the Mirror acting on its own volition? Has been a malicious trap all along and Jesse had inadvertently sprung it? 

For a few tense seconds, the worst case scenarios flash behind Emily’s eyes, all of them involving her ultimately dying at the hands of this entity bearing her close friend’s face. She always knew that Jesse would spell her undoing, but not like this. Never like this. This _isn’t_ her Jesse.

For a few breathless seconds, none of those scenarios come to fruition. Instead, Emily is left wholly conscious that her heartbeat is thunderous, and that esseJ’s arms are on either side of her, effectively pinning her where she stands. Even harder to ignore is the fact that their faces are separated by only a few inches. Neither of them move, leaving their breaths to tickle against one another’s lips.

Emily swallows the lump in her throat and intones with as much strength as she could muster, “You’re not Jesse.”

The sharp grin from before returns and now she’s certain of her conclusion—even more so as esseJ’s deep chuckle reverberates through them both.

“Yes and no and maybe,” the doppelganger says, her smile unfaltering. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Dr. Pope.”

“I wish I could say that the feeling is mutual.” Sweat starts to bead along her forehead from their closeness. One wrong move and their lips would brush. “What do you want?”

esseJ tuts and finally her grin breaks into a small pout. “So serious, Dr. Pope. And I here was hoping to have at least a little fun.”

“Interesting stance on what is considered ‘fun.’”

“What can I say? I’m out to have a nice day.”

“Where is Jesse?”

“Not hurt.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

esseJ snickers, her eyes flicking down to Emily’s lips in brief consideration. What sort of thoughts was going through the doppelganger’s mind is anyone’s guess. But Emily can feel the way temptation hangs in suspension between them, and right when she thinks that esseJ is going to act on it, she instead replies, “She’s in the mirror. Knocked out, but unharmed. I promise.”

“And why should I take your word for it?” Emily challenges, pushing her forearm harder into the woman’s collarbone for some semblance of relief from their prolonged proximity. She ignores the way esseJ regards the action with a haughty smirk. 

“You can believe anything you want, Dr. Pope,” esseJ says, her tone just above a sultry murmur that makes heat ressurge into Emily’s cheeks. Her gaze adopts a knowing glint and she leans in closer, brushing her nose along the inflamed cheekbone. “Personally, I believe that talking about Jesse is kinda killing the mood here.”

It was _Jesse’s_ voice, _Jesse’s_ lips moving to sound the words, _her_ bright eyes that have been looking her up and down like a fascinating specimen, _her_ lips that are so close that she could just turn her head and— 

Emily growls, stopping that thought then and there. “There’s no mood,” she protests vehemently, surprising herself how solid her tone was despite esseJ’s continued ministrations along her cheek. “You’re going back in the mirror and you’re going to get Jesse out _now._ End of story.”

“What a boring story,” esseJ lulls. In spite of herself, a shiver wracks through Emily, raising the hairs on her arms. “You sure you don’t want to spice it up at least a little bit? Oh I know, we can talk about your mirror theories, if that’s what you’re into. I can be flexible.” 

“What are you on about?”

“Well, it’s not hard to see that you’re curious,” esseJ says with a teasing lilt. “Who knows, Dr. Pope, this might be your chance to ask those burning questions in that beautiful head of yours.” esseJ raises a hand and taps the side of Emily’s head with a little dance of her index and middle fingertips before replacing them back on the table.

She hates to admit that it was tempting. What better source for information about the Mirror than from the entity residing within it. Under any other circumstances, Emily would be leaping for joy at this opportunity. But this involved Jesse and her safety. She won’t trade her for the sake of science.

“Just one question, Dr. Pope, it won’t hurt anything,” esseJ goads just above a whisper. 

Emily’s gaze finds the whiteboard just past esseJ’s shoulder. Her theories and notes about the Jungian Shadow, and the dichotomy of the conscious and unconscious self, stare back at her. What happens if she turns out to be right about it?

“Ah, there it is,” esseJ muses.

“What?”

“The look you get when you’re just _aching_ to ask a question. It’s quite infectious, you know. But I digress, I’m ready when you are.”

Emily had half a mind to just abandon the question altogether out of spite. It’d be brainpower better spent into figuring a way out of this predicament. But esseJ is right, she _is_ curious. And so her next words come in a slow, steady stream, all the while she keeps her eyes trained on the board. “You’re a reflection. Therefore, speaking archetypically... what part of Jesse do you reflect?”

esseJ laughs, light and airy in its smugness and Emily could _feel_ that sharp grin return. She reaches up to take Emily’s chin between her fingers, bringing their eyes firmly together. “Desire,” she answers. “She’s too cowardly to admit to them, but I’m much _wilder_ than her.”

An audible gulp sounds in the back of Emily’s throat at the same time her heart decides to skip two beats. Unconsciously, her arm slowly falls away in her shock.

Rationally, she should disregard everything this imposter has been saying. For all she knew, this could be some elaborate ploy to gain... _something?_ She can’t fathom what the Mirror would want from this world or why coming to _her_ of all people would help accomplish it.

With no concrete evidence to indicate an ulterior motive, heat from the revelation ignites in her cheeks and rises to her ears as a singular conclusion slams to the forefront of her mind: 

Jesse. She feels the same way about her?

“At a loss for words already?” esseJ purrs. “I was hoping you could tell me whether it pleases you to know that she wonders about you _constantly._ ” esseJ shifts to hold Emily’s hand in a tender cradle. “She thinks about how soft your hands must be, but I bet that she doesn’t know that it’s a little callussed here.” She grasps her middle finger and strokes the side of the first knuckle where a raised bump had formed from how she holds her pencils. Currents of electricity coil down her arm at the contact. “Or how warm you are this close.” esseJ’s free hand strokes the curve of her waist, wandering upwards until she’s fiddling with the strap of the HRA. “And she’s always wondering what it’s like to feel you without _this._ ” 

Emily feels esseJ’s leg slot between hers, making her breath break into a sharp gasp.

“Does it please you to learn all this, Dr. Pope?”

 _Yes_.

It’s certainly not the most ideal way to learn that the object of your desire shares mutual feelings. Then again, here at the FBC nothing is ever ideal, and beyond the growing lightheadedness and festering desire stirring inside her, there’s a part of her that’s elated by this revelation.

esseJ hums in her ear, “Would you like to learn more? I’ll make it worth your while. _Promise._ ”

The way the word ‘promise’ is said makes it hang in the air for longer than it should, makes it drip with provocative titillation that sends a thrill down Emily’s spine. Every thread of her logical mind screams at her to refuse, to rebuke the prospect that she would stoop so low. Yes, she wants to learn more, but this is _not_ the protocol. Not even close. And she’s already allowed this... _entity_ to linger as long as she has, this is where it should end.

But the brewed tension and the unbearable smoldering heat that has culminated in the pit of her stomach after what felt like hours of being inches from Jesse— _esseJ,_ she corrects herself. Shit, that just goes to show that her resolve is slipping more and more. 

In sum, she’s too damn _frustrated_ to listen to logic, and all of these elements combined sends her head first past the point of no return. 

“Yes,” she finally says.

esseJ smiles, wide and triumphant, before leaning down to finally lock their lips together, sealing the deal at long last. Their sharp exhales in between kisses echo through the room.

Everywhere, in and around Emily, becomes esseJ. Her tongue is in her mouth faster than she can process the fact that her lips had even parted in the first place, and her hands rush to untuck her button-up from her waistband to caress the skin of her lower back.

Not one to be one-upped, Emily reaches up and tears the leather jacket off from her shoulders. esseJ laughs as she sheds it the rest of the way and lets it drop to her feet without a second thought, leaving herself in the black t-shirt that exposes her biceps in plain view. Of their own volition, Emily’s hands trace along the cut of muscle there. 

“This’ll be good practice for the real thing, huh?”

Ire rises in her chest, spurring Emily to take esseJ’s face and reseal their lips in a searing kiss. “Do you know when to stop talking?” she growls in between breaths.

“Bold choice of words coming from someone like you,” esseJ counters. 

She bristles and bites esseJ’s bottom lip in retaliation. Of course, this only excites the woman further and without warning, she’s hoisted up onto the table, completely neglecting the spread of documents.

Absently, she wonders what would happen if someone were to walk in on them like this. It’d be quite the scandal, she’s sure.

There’s a tug on her hips and she’s pulled forward until she is once more flush with esseJ’s front. (Or at least, as flush as her HRA would allow. The prospect of tearing it off has never been so tantalizing.) 

“Ah, ah. No wandering thoughts here, Dr. Pope,” esseJ admonishes before grinding her hips down against her at same time she trails open mouthed kisses along her neck.

The friction, as brief as it was, sends another dizzying wave of heat to pool in her stomach. She buries a hand in thick red tresses while the other claws at esseJ’s clothed back, feeling the ripple of muscle beneath her trembling fingertips. Her blunted nails scratch across esseJ’s scalp, earning a satisfied groan before the sting of a sharp nibble blossoms on the junction between her neck and left shoulder.

“Ah!”

“Oh she’ll like _that_ sound,” eseeJ muses, slowly sliding a hand upwards, teasing the curve of Emily’s breast for an agonizing second—just long enough to feel the instinctive, desperate intake of breath in her ear before continuing her path to cup the side of Emily’s neck to keep her firmly in place against her mouth. Meanwhile, her other hand fiddles with the HRA again, this time thumbing the buckle.

“It’s a damn shame we can’t take this off,” she murmurs against the flushed skin as she leaves more kisses and small licks. “You’re like a Christmas present I can’t open and it’s... hmm what’s the word I’m looking for, Dr. Pope?” The hand on Emily’s neck rises again, tickling the small hairs at the base of her head, but not quite threading through the carefully combed blonde locks. Not yet anyway. 

esseJ wants this to last as long as it can. _Especially_ when she’s treated to things like the subtle quake in Emily’s breathing, how it becomes held in silent anticipation, and how her fingers curl deeper into her shirt in tandem with a hurried jerk of her hips.

“It’s not ‘frustrated,’ I’m having too much fun for that,” she continues, using her other hand to trace the outside seam of Emily’s dress pants.

“You...” Emily swallows, trying to ignore the featherlight touch along her leg. “you really love hearing yourself talk, don’t you.”

“Well, she does have a nice voice, wouldn’t you say?”

The uncanny dissonance of hearing esseJ talk about Jesse in a way that makes it seem like she was speaking in the third person weighs heavier on Emily’s already sluggish mind. But it matters little when esseJ brushes the inside of her thigh, creeping closer and closer to where she _needs_ her to be.

When it finally does, it’s an agonizingly slow and gentle caress along her core.

“God _damn it_ ,” Emily hisses through the series of sparks running up her spine. It’s not enough, not _enough_.

“Getting impatient, Dr. Pope?” esseJ chuckles.

“Fuck you.”

“Maybe later.”

A growl rumbles in the back of her throat, something that esseJ regards with a devilish smirk and a quick peck on the lips “Alright, alright, sorry.” She kisses along Emily’s jaw and lays a hand on her shoulder to coax her backwards. “Lay back for me, I’ll take care of you.”

If esseJ talking about Jesse earlier was disarming, her sudden tenderness would’ve knocked Emily right off her feet if she were standing. Even so, she complies, leaning back on her elbows to watch as esseJ fumbles with the button and zipper of her dress pants. She doesn’t remove them though.

Instead she bends down, retrieves her jacket, and folds it into a messy square. In a mesmerizing show of grace, esseJ crawls atop the table until she’s hovering over Emily. Wordlessly, she places the folded jacket behind her before taking hold of her chin once more, grazing the pad of her thumb over the bottom lip. 

Then she kisses her, long and deep until she has practically stolen every breath from her. When they finally separate, esseJ drinks in the sight below her. “Beautiful. I’m almost jealous that she’ll have you all to herself after this.” As she spoke, her right hand trails downward, occasionally fiddling with the buttons of Emily’s shirt before ultimately stopping once she reaches the hem of her dress pants where she had undone the zipper. The idea of dragging it out for even longer blipped in the back of her mind, but she’s already pushed it long enough. She could feel that she doesn’t have much time left. 

_All good things have to come to an end,_ she ruminates with a soft sigh.

Emily frowns, confused at the sight of the woman’s sudden downtrodden mood. “Are you—ah!”

Without warning, esseJ strokes the length of her slit, relishing in the warmth she finds and the clear excitement present there. She noses the little crease forming on Emily’s forehead from the stimulation. “I did a good job of getting you worked up didn’t I, Dr. Pope. You’re already ready for me.” She snickers. “Boy, _that_ was a sentence, huh?”

Just as a response gathers on her tongue, esseJ presses the advantage and renders Emily an incoherent mess. Her elbows give out beneath her and she feels her head land securely on the folded leather jacket. She’d be touched by the doppelganger’s courteous foresight, but any and all thoughts hone on the feeling of esseJ coating her fingers with her arousal. “ _Fuck._ ”

“I’m getting there, I’m getting there,” esseJ says sweetly.

“Not fast enough,” she gruffs.

“You know. You’re right.”

“Wait... what?”

In lieu of a response, esseJ kisses her again, effectively swallowing the startled yelp that wanted to sound from her throat as a finger slips inside. She’s just cognitive enough to wrap her arms around esseJ’s neck, pulling her closer to return the kiss until their tongues dance to the rhythm of the subsequent shallow thrusts. Soon enough, another finger joins the first and Emily breaks away with a gasp that melts into a gratified groan. She slaps a hand over her mouth to stifle the sound, hoping to whatever higher being was out there that no one outside heard her.

“That’s a nice sound too,” esseJ purrs, burying her nose in Emily’s chamomile scented hair. 

Gradually, she pumps her fingers faster while peppering kisses along her brow and tasting the salt of the small beads of sweat gathering there. When she feels her hips start to thrust in tandem, she moves to croon in her ear, “You’re doing so well keeping nice and quiet. I’d hate to get interrupted right now.” She rubs her thumb over the sensitive nub, earning a long, breathy whine for her efforts. “I wish I could hear you. I wanna see how loud I can get you to be. But I guess that can be something for Jesse to look forward to. Maybe you two can find a nice Shelter to play in.”

Emily didn’t think it was possible, but she could swear that she felt her cheeks flush even more red. She’d hardly be surprised if she suddenly caught fire right there and then. “ _Please,_ stop talking,” she says in a broken rasp.

“Aww, but how else am I supposed to tell you that you look so good when you’re taking my fingers so well?” She thrusts a little harder, a little faster, to punctuate the rhetorical question. Just as she hoped, Emily’s inner walls flutter and clench around her, and she holds onto her much tighter. Almost time to wrap this up. 

“I could spend all day watching you,” esseJ intones and languidly licks the shell of her ear and tugs on a fistful of her hair. “But right now I need you to come for me.”

Emily mercilessly bites the meat of her palm at the command, but it does little to muffle the high pitched keen that erupts from her. Her eyes slam shut, electricity buzzes in her ears and shoots down her spine until it arches upward, perfectly molding her body to esseJ’s.

“Yeah, that’s it. I’ve got you,” esseJ coos.

Only a weak hum serves as Emily’s response. That, and the sigh that eases from her as esseJ helps her ride the blissful wave. 

All too soon, esseJ withdraws, admiring the glistening of her fingers under the fluorescent lights before licking them clean.

“How was that, Dr. Pope?” she asks with a smirk as she wipes the leftover saliva on her jeans.

After a few steadying breaths, Emily goes to sit up and esseJ graciously moves off of her. She wipes the sweat from her forehead, combs her fingers through her mussed hair in a fruitless attempt to make it tidy again. All the while, her thoughts return to its whirlwind pace and “Satisfactory,” becomes her eventual answer. Though she was purposely curt and dispassioned in her word choice, the crack in her voice, the ever-present flush of her cheeks, and her attempts at avoiding eye contact belied her intention.

“Happy to meet your standards then,” esseJ chuckles regardless. She slides backwards off the table and stretches her arms up over her head. Though there should be relief in the popping of her joints, the growing hollowness in the center of her chest dominates her attention. With a disappointed sigh, she lays a hand over her chest where there was no heartbeat to greet her. Her grip on this form is faltering, like ripples on a lake surface becoming no more the longer they traveled.

 _A pale imitation, through and through,_ she thinks, bitter but ultimately resigned.

Emily finishes fixing herself, her pants buttoned and shirt tucked in, just in time to see the downtrodden expression that has overtaken esseJ’s previous haughty attitude. “Are you alright?”

A smile curls at the corner of her mouth, one that doesn’t nearly reach her eyes that is just barely masked by the nod of her head. “I’m fine. I just can’t be separated from the Mirror for too long and I might’ve gotten carried away here, but it was well worth it.”

“What happens to you if you are?”

esseJ shrugs a shoulder meant to impart indifference, but her smile falls and Emily understands the underlying, unspoken fear it’s trying to mask. “I don’t know. Probably best that we don’t find out, yeah? Now _that_ would be a mood killer.”

In spite of herself and the dour subject, Emily snickers. “Right, of course. Very well then, uh... Well, this has been... enlightening.” _In more ways than one,_ she adds internally as she clears her throat to maintain some shred of dignity.

“Good. And thank you, this is the most fun I’ve had in a while.” She puts on her jacket, and with the same lackadaisy she exuded when she first entered the room, esseJ makes her way back towards the double doors. "Hope to see you soon, Dr. Pope, but I'm sure you’ve got enough to discuss with Jesse first. Wouldn’t want her to miss out on the excitement.” She winks at the subsequent eye roll that Emily throws her way.

And on that note, she exits, plunging the Board Room into silence once more.

Emily sinks into the nearest chair, propping herself on her elbows and folding her hands in front of her face. _Well..._ that _just happened._

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/Ashtree111) if ya want to


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